What do you do with rebellious teenager

Sometimes disrespectful behaviour might be a sign that your child is feeling particularly stressed or worried. Some young people seem to have a conflicting and radical view on everything, and might question previously held beliefs.

This shift to deeper thinking is a normal part of development too. No matter how grumpy or cross your child gets, your child still values time talking and connecting with you. You just might need to be a little more understanding if your child is short-tempered or changeable. It can help to remember that this phase will usually pass. Arguing rarely works for parents or teenagers.

A more effective approach is to give yourself and your child some time to calm down. A more effective approach is to tell your child that you want to talk, and agree on a time. Being defensive is very rarely useful. Try not to take things personally. Here are some examples of nice gestures that will help to build the relationship between you and your teen:.

This is because your teen will realise you did it just because you love him. This is something I see over and over again — many of them feel powerless. Of course, boundaries are necessary. It was probably a process that took months, or even years. In a similar way, helping your teenager to become less defiant is also a process that will take time. The tips in this article are all ways of helping your teenager to become more respectful and responsible. As the weeks go by, apply more tips gradually.

Over time, your teenager will become less rebellious. Your home will also become a more peaceful and harmonious place! The article has provided a set of words that I can convey to my teenagers to make them almost zero-rebellious and making them feel highly motivated.

Thank you Daniel Wong. Looking forward to the next article. Happy New Year. Dear Daniel, thank you for this article. The outlined tips will be very helpful to parents who would dare to apply them. Developing emotional attachment with your teen will make it easier to effectively parent them.

In the past, I was curious, had a love of learning, etc. Until my parents started treating me like a project since 9th grade. They really killed my love of learning through just restricting time for my non-academic hobbies for no reason.

I completely understand where your coming from. Especially when they talk about how gifted you are but at the same time silencing who you are. I advise you to seek out motivation by other means. Try to surround yourself with people who will support you emotionally instead. But start slowly with some changes. For example, get them to be responsible for their actions.

Tell them your not happy with their behaviour…. But you could use anything eg not pay for your mobile phone etc. When they yell and swear at you. Just say calmly. I can see your angry. Just ignore them if they keep at you and repeat the same thing. Turn on tv or music and pretend to be focussed on that.

There are some good parenting books out there. Seems like a little tough time for you and your daughter. Since she has ODD as you mentioned there are certain things that is not in her control. Its not that she feels good about behaving in such a peculiar manner, she must be equally devasted with her own behaviour pressed charges.

Its not going to change overnight, but it will. When we decide that we will change we can actually change. She needs your help and cooperation in doing so and only a parent can do that. Help her through this time by being her constant support and making her believe that you are always there by her side. Things will definitely start improving All the best Shweta. This is really bull crap, teens these days are very disrespectful because they have an entitlement issue and think their parents owe them something..

I have never treated my mother the way my 14 year treat me.. I would like to know how to get him into the program.. Hello Sandra , I need help my self. My 14yr stresses me out so bad. Blah blah blah. To be honest I went through that situation Juvenile Hall only increases negative behavior because they will be exposed to peers that are delinquent they will show them how to abuse the system.

All you can do is be their parent make time for self care and lead by example. The child will have to face consequences for their actions and their choices are not based on how good or bad you parent. Yes but the generation of parents are to blame they will come up to another parent in a grocery store or parking lot involving their jacked up free will style parenting while telling the parent who is trying to control and raise a productive child who will one day be an adult hopefully a well mannered and productive because of the discipline given as a younger person!

I have a 15 years old boy that I adopted 1 year ago in July I had him at age 10 and he was such a considerate, sweet, and nice young man. I have noticed a big change in his attitude. He has become very defiant, stealing, disrespectful, running a away for days at a time, fornication with girls some even younger than 10, profanity, anger issues, depression, and suicidal ideation.

This child is disrespectful to adults and authority figures. His school grades has declined, his attendance at school is horrible. Now he is confined to an evaluation center and he is acting out there, too. What is happening to this child where he is not listening or obeying anyone.

This is a good read , but more solutions would be great. I have a child that is all of the above and does. If you at some point do not meet the challenging behavior , although it is conclusively unproductive , they assume you will take the bullying. Therapy was not effective in our case , and we had a top of the line specialist for his behavioral and emotional coping issues Polite reinforcement is looked upon as a joke.

Asking a single time or with a reminder to do something is not successful — and of course nagging leads to a battle. This child became this way as a result of a life with an alcoholic father and a single parent court order with no visitation with mom. Solid advice. I will try to use this guidance.. My daughter is 13 years in grade 6 and an A student, recently I was made aware that she is not writing her class work, and she is starting to lie more often. She said her books were missing and I discovered that she was lying too.

Please advise what to do. My daughter did the same at age 10 in 5th grade. The lying, the hiding the teachers requirements from me, book report due dates, etc.

After conferences with the teacher we caught on to her. Later on, I found out from other mothers of students in her class that many of the kids in her class are all doing the same thing and getting Fs on tests. Blowing off home work, too. My conclusion:…. I personally think its a normal stage in the tween years. As parents, our we are responsible to teach our children the love of God and the ten commandments. Instill this in them while they are still young before Thank you! This came to me exactly when needed.

Your article gave us reminders of what we intuitively know and in line with other helpful info we have gathered. Last night we addressed it.

The interaction was heated but maintained self control as parents. There is peace in the house again. Your article made a difference. Thank you!! I will try your strategies and see how I get on. My great niece is cursing in front of other adults, and curses at her mom. The psychiatrist said to let her do and say her expression, at least that is what my niece is telling everyone.

Can somebody tell me this is a thing, to let your 14 year old daughter curse bad words, let her boyfriend stay over and allow her to stay at his home?? Since you are not the parent your options are limited to being an advisor or coach to your niece. Becoming her own person does not require loosing friends, family, and even future employment due to her offensive behavior. You can have talks with her following the steps and concepts listed on this site.

Be a positive roll model. Also, remember that all of us learn from our experience but being coached before hand will greatly speed up that learning process.

That is just rediculous. Her parents need counseling if they are allowing this.. I believe kids today need mentors and other adults that really believe in them. I was lucky because my dad was a firefighter, so he had every other day off and would be at home. I remember my brother and I being able to talk to him about stuff like peer pressure, sticking up for other kids, bullying, and other life things… even the birds and the bees that was an awkward conversation!

If kids have a couple extra adults in their life that can mentor them and believe in them, I think they will avoid bad decisions and they will have a much better chance to succeed. This post confirms my thoughts on dealing with my niece. I recently gained custody of her due to the death of my brother. The mother is incarcerated. This child has feelings of anger, grief, relief she had wanted to live with me for a few years now due to bad home environment , guilt, and other emotions.

However, I cannot allow her to get away with lies or disrespect. If you have any ideas on dealing with the gamut of emotions she has, please share. Keep up the good advice. Hi Wanda…I do not have any advice and it seems like this website has a lot of great stuff.

It sounds like you have a lovely niece who loves you very much — since you disclosed about her wanting to live with You — I am sorry about the passing of your brother.

What a beautiful thing. I hope you get this message meant to encourage you — because sometimes that is all we need — a listening ear that does not judge! I Iive in Toronto Canada and am not sure of the resources you have in your community where you live. I am a big believer in prayer and staying connected with a beautiful church — with supportive people and resources — and a small group to join for support — through church is helpful.

Surround yourself with loving people and give loving boundaries and make sure to love your niece. Many blessings for your journey. Another idea is to really just spend at least an hour a week doing something different and memorable — make it consistent and insist it happens…it could be as simple as …you fill in the blanks. Oh, and get lots of rest.. Teens tend to empty our wallets and patience…so fill up beforehand…through prayer, people , hobbies and take time for JOy.

Tie Privileges to Good Behavior. Avoid Repetition. Enforce Consequences. Have a Plan. Praise Good Behavior. Teach Problem Solving. Focus on One Behavior. Pick your Battles. Stay Respectful. Get Support. Final Thoughts… Remember what you were like when you were a teen, and have empathy for your son or daughter.

Like this: Like Loading Josh September 27, am. If this has helped you and anyone , please feel free to visit the website that helps you be a better Parent Loading Mtn Mom June 12, pm. Sam May 5, pm. Matt May 6, pm. Alison Holt June 5, pm. Clair July 13, am. If you identify red flag behaviors in your teen, consult a doctor, counselor, therapist , or other mental health professional for help finding appropriate treatment. As detailed below, there are many actions you can take at home to help your teen and improve the relationship between you.

The first step is to find a way to connect with what they are experiencing emotionally and socially. Positive face-to-face connection is the quickest, most efficient way to reduce stress by calming and focusing the nervous system.

That means you probably have a lot more influence over your teen than you think. Be aware of your own stress levels. Be there for your teen.

Insist on sitting down for mealtimes together with no TV, phones, or other distractions. Look at your teen when you speak and invite your teen to look at you. Find common ground. Fathers and sons often connect over sports; mothers and daughters over gossip or movies. Listen without judging or giving advice. Expect rejection. Your teen may often respond to your attempts to connect with anger, irritation, or other negative reactions.

Stay relaxed and allow your teen space to cool off. Successfully connecting to your teen will take time and effort. If your teen is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, their ability to connect emotionally can be compromised. The same may be true of prescription medications. For example, if your teen is taking antidepressants , make sure the dosage is no more than absolutely needed. Every phone call or knock on the door could bring news that your son has either been harmed, or has seriously harmed others.

Teenage girls get angry as well, of course, but that anger is usually expressed verbally rather than physically. Some will even direct their rage towards you. For any parent, especially single mothers, this can be a profoundly disturbing and upsetting experience. Putting up with violence is as harmful for your teen as it is for you. Everyone has a right to feel physically safe. If your teen is violent towards you, seek help immediately.

Call a friend, relative, or the police if necessary. Anger can be a challenging emotion for many teens as it often masks other underlying emotions such as frustration, embarrassment, sadness, hurt, fear, shame, or vulnerability. In their teens, many boys have difficulty recognizing their feelings, let alone expressing them or asking for help. The challenge for parents is to help your teen cope with emotions and deal with anger in a more constructive way:.

Establish boundaries, rules and consequences. If your teen lashes out, for example, they will have to face the consequences—loss of privileges or even police involvement. Teens need boundaries and rules, now more than ever.

Is your teen sad or depressed? Does your teen just need someone to listen to them without judgment? Be aware of anger warning signs and triggers.